Supporting an Ageing Parent

What you will be able to do

• recognise everyday signs that a parent may need more support, and tell slow change from an urgent warning sign.
• start a respectful conversation about extra help that keeps your parent's wishes and choices at the centre.
• ask for a NASC needs assessment, find out about support for yourself as a carer, and prepare for them well.
• compare care and housing options, from home adaptations and home support to retirement villages and rest homes, using a clear comparison sheet.
• explain the basics of how care is paid for in New Zealand and check what your parent is entitled to through Work and Income.
• keep a shared appointments log and ask the right questions at appointments and hospital discharge.
• divide responsibilities fairly across the family, including from a distance and alongside work.
• explain enduring powers of attorney and advance care planning, and look after your own wellbeing as a carer.

1. 1Noticing change and starting the conversation

   Learn the everyday signs that a parent may need more support, how to raise the subject kindly, and why their choices stay at the centre.

   • Signs your parent may need more support
   • Having the conversation
   • Respecting independence and choice

   Needs checklistConversation starter cards

2. 2Understanding needs and getting an assessment

   Map your parent's needs clearly, ask for a free NASC needs assessment, and make sure the health basics are covered.

   • Mapping needs, area by area
   • The NASC needs assessment
   • Health check-ups worth keeping up to date

   Needs checklistAppointments log

3. 3Care and housing options

   Understand the main ways to get support, from small changes at home to rest homes, and compare them side by side.

   • Help to stay at home
   • Housing options: moving somewhere that fits
   • Rest homes and hospital-level care: knowing the difference and choosing well

   Care options comparison sheet

4. 4Money, paying for care and protecting your parent

   Understand how care is paid for in New Zealand, the entitlements your parent may be missing out on, and how to guard against scams.

   • Who pays for care?
   • Entitlements and help your parent may be missing
   • Protecting your parent from scams and financial abuse

   Family responsibilities plannerNeeds checklist

5. 5Appointments, medicines and hospital stays

   Get more from health appointments, keep medicines safe and organised, and know what to ask when your parent leaves hospital.

   • Getting the most from appointments
   • Medicines: safe, simple and organised
   • Hospital stays and coming home

   Appointments log

6. 6Sharing responsibilities across the family

   Divide the support fairly, handle disagreements, care from a distance and balance caring with your job.

   • Who does what: sharing the load fairly
   • Disagreements, distance and keeping in touch
   • Balancing work and caring

   Family responsibilities planner

7. 7Planning ahead and looking after yourself

   Help your parent record their wishes and make legal arrangements while they are well, and protect your own health and wellbeing.

   • Planning ahead: wishes, powers and paperwork
   • Looking after yourself while you support your parent

   Conversation starter cardsFamily responsibilities planner

• CheckerNeeds checklistSpot, area by area, where your parent is managing well and where a little more support might help, so you can talk about it and ask for an assessment.
• PlannerCare options comparison sheetCompare the main types of care and housing side by side, in your own words, so you and your parent can weigh them up together.
• TrackerAppointments logKeep one record of every health and care appointment, what was said and what happens next, so nothing falls through the gaps between family members.
• PlannerFamily responsibilities plannerDivide the different areas of support across the family by strengths, distance and time, with a lead and a back-up for each, so no one carries everything.
• CardsConversation starter cardsGentle opening lines and questions for the conversations families often put off, from extra help at home to planning ahead.